OK so tonight was the third time that I have seen the movie I can only imagine. We went with our church group. I was thinking earlier today about this movie knowing that I was going to see it again for the third time tonight if the emotional impact would not be as great being that I’ve already seen it a couple of times. Several scenes in this movie brought me back to my childhood and reminded me of some of the very things that this movie dealt with that I had to experience as a child.
Well let me tell you that was not the case! It was just as emotional as it was the first time I saw it last week. If I could just share my heart with you I hope that that is OK. I don’t normally get this deep in in depth with my posts in such a public forum but I feel compelled to for Various reasons.
Shannon and I were talking about this the other day and there are so many similarities in this movie with our lives. You see when I was growing up my father was very abusive man. At the age of four my mother and father divorced and I went to live with my mother for a period of time until my father decided that I should come live with him and his new wife. (Of which she and I still communicate to this day, a very precious lady) Now I’m not going to get into all of the gory details but let’s just call abuse what it is. I have 11 scars on my back where I was beaten with a belt severely at times from the age of four till I was 12 when I went to live with my mother in her new husband my stepfather.
The abuse continued unfortunately with my stepfather who was also very abusive physically emotionally and verbally. I can remember times when I would voice my opinion about something and the next thing I know I would find myself on the floor after being hit in the face and thrown across the room because my step father did not like or want to hear what I had to say. This continued until I was 18 years old and I graduated high school. Two days after I graduated high school I left home never intending to look back or go back because I did not want to be a part of that abuse any longer.
While I am a survivor of abuse as a child I can tell you that I have spent the last 31 years as the walking wounded. I have carried great shame sorrow and anger which is caused bouts of depression in my life.I have never been able to come to terms with forgiveness for those that mis - treated me in my childhood. I was told that I would never amount to anything that I would never be anybody important and that I was nothing. As a result it is caused me for my entire life to believe the lies of the enemy that I am nothing that I am not worthy that I Have no worth. It has caused me issues in my marriage it is affected the way I treat my children and my entire outlook. I have had issues with my Christian walk with God the father. Now I’m not telling you all this for sympathy I do not want sympathy.
this movie I can only imagine, I have to tell you it has forced me to do a lot of thinking. I believe this movie was sent and ordained by God. It can be a great tool used for emotional healing for many of us out there that are broken. The bottom line is this, if our heavenly father can forgive us for the things that we have done against him, then we are able and can forgive those that mis - treat us in life. The Bible says for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. There is none righteous no not one. Now don’t misunderstand me I still have a ways to go and I still need to lay down forgiveness for my father and my stepfather. I know now how important it is for me to be able to forgive and lay it down at the foot of the cross. The problem is I always want to pick it back up.
While I am not there yet I am closer than I have ever been in my life to being able to do that. This movie has challenged me with its themes of redemption grace and forgiveness, to rise above the abuse and to know that forgiveness is possible and that healing can happen. I am thankful for my wife Shannon who has always stayed by my side, has always been my best friend, and has been my number one fan. She has been there for me, believed in me when I did not believe in myself. Thank you Shannon for always loving me and excepting me for who I am with all my imperfections and complications. I am forever grateful that God brought you into my life I am so blessed to call you my wife. This movie and the song I can only imagine will always hold a special place in my heart. I have decided that I want to be healed and whole. I know that I’m on the verge of something amazing of what God is doing in my life and in my heart. I know that God is taking this movie and is using it for my healing. I cannot wait for the day that I can declare that I am healed and whole
I thank you for reading this post and allowing me to share a little bit of what’s on my heart tonight. Again I don’t normally do this to this degree but I just felt compelled to because there might be somebody out there that is like me they have struggled with forgiveness for someone maybe a Family member or a close friend who betrayed you and mis- treated you. I am just here to tell you that I do know that God intends for us to be whole and healed and forgiveness is possible. I would encourage everyone to go see this movie even if you’ve not struggling with issues like I have or you’ve not been abused either way it is a great and awesome story of forgiveness redemption and grace. It is the true story of how God can transform someone from the depths of hell. Go see this movie I promise you it is worth going and spending two hours to see. God bless you